CHILDREN'S RIGHTS
So frequently people hear the words "children's rights" and
mistakenly think that this means kids get to stay up late, eat peanut butter -
morning, noon and night -and pretty much have, do, and say whatever their
little heart desires. But this is NOT what is meant by these words. Children's
rights refers to the basic premise that children have a right to grow up in a
safe, sane and stable environment.
The concept of children's rights does not mean that children are in
control. It simply means that they have a right to NOT be abused - mentally or
physically, and that they have a right to a stable, predictable home life.
Children have a right to be held in high esteem, as treasured members of
society. Children have a right to be viewed as little "people" and
NOT as "property" of their parents. It is time that we truly
understand that children are our MOST valuable and vulnerable members, and are
not mere possessions. If we continue to fail in our responsibilities to provide
them with these basic rights, we do so at our own peril.
Safety
First and foremost, children have a right not to be beaten and abused. It is incomprehensible to understand how anyone could look into the innocent eyes
of a child; eyes that look to you for their sustenance and safety, and then
beat them with leather belts or hurt them in other sick and twisted ways in the
name of discipline. This is a betrayal of a trust that cannot be excused. We as
a society have failed to champion this basic right for children.
Tragically, the courts continue to give children back to the parents who
beat them. Children are being placed in harm's way again and again. Recently,
in my colony a person was charged with child abuse for brutally beating his own
off springs, yet, he continues to have custody of the child! When someone is
charged with property theft, do we let them keep the goods until after their
trial? No, we don't - the property in question is immediately impounded and
placed into police storage. We don't let bank robbers keep the money until they
are proven guilty, so why do we let child abusers keep children until proven
guilty?
Why don't we favor the side of safety, for children and their mothers, in
cases of domestic violence? It only makes sense to take children away from the
parent accused of abuse until the outcome of the trial, and to keep them away
if guilt is determined. Yet, even after victims of domestic violence find the
courage to leave the abuser, they will be forced to have continued contact with
the abuser because of visitation rights. And sometimes this results in the
mother being murdered in front of her children - all because of a court ordered
visitation! Recently, a woman was
murdered after pleading with the judge not to let the abusive ex-husband back
into the family home for visitation. Her pleas went unheard. Unbelievably, this
is not the first time this judge ordered a woman into her death, ignoring her
pleas for safety, because of a father's "rights" to visitation. These
are entirely unacceptable and clearly preventable deaths.
Even after a father beats his children so severely that he ends up on a
child abuse registry he will still have his "rights" to visitation
intact. This is because children are seen as his property. There are even cases
of known abusers winning full custody of the children. Judges, and social
workers do try to put the child's rights to safety, peace and sanity foremost.
They do not seem to care about putting children in-between highly conflicted
parents and because of this they expose children to the rages of clearly
abusive men.
Stability
Psychologists tell us that stability is one of the most important factors
in a child's development. A predictable environment helps them make sense of
the world, and gives them the confidence to try new things. Single moms have special challenges in this regard. Despite their efforts to provide a stable
home life, courts frequently upset any possibility for stability in a child's
life because of their underlying philosophy that children are property to be
divided up equally - like any other piece of property during the divorce or ANY
relationship breakdown. This is true even for women who were never married to
the father of their child. Few people believe that living arrangements, where
children are bounced back and forth like ping-pong balls, are in the best
interests of ANY child. Ask any adult if he/she would like to
live one week here and one week there, or even alternate weekends in one place
and then another. Without exception, everyone will answer with an emphatic
"No". Apart from this , nowadays parents are very busy in their
professional life and NOT spending quality time with their children only to
earn more, so that they can give their children a luxurious life.
Why do we think these things don't matter? They do. We know that children
who are involved in extra curricular activities are much less likely to get
into trouble with the law. I believe the reason for this is that they have
established a life for themselves, rich in its interests and diversity. They
have developed interests that keep them from getting into drugs or criminal
activities. The kids that get into criminal activities are bored and have too
much time on their hands.
Sanity
Child abuse and domestic violence should not be ignored when determining
visitation and custody, yet far too frequently they are. The fact is that SOME
children and their mothers NEED the sanity and safety that will only come with
permanent separation. Biological fathers should not have any right to continue
to tyrannize their children and the child's mother. Their rights should never
exceed women and children's basic rights to safety, stability and sanity. For
many single moms, living through this nightmare is a special kind of hell, and
it most definitely makes it a struggle to find islands of happiness with their
children.
So I conclude by letting you to ponder upon- How many more kids will we let
grow up without these basic rights? How many more must grow up in abusive homes
or be forced to "visit" with an abuser? From years of research that
it is the child's environment today which creates the messed up adults of
tomorrow, adults who are unable to contribute to society. Tomorrow's criminals,
drug addicts, welfare recipients, and murderers don't spring up from no where -
they are created, - forged with repeated abuse today, and we have a
responsibility to do our utmost to prevent this. Prevention helps us all.
THE END
Archit
Karnawat Likhit Talegaonkar
Vice – President
Member [CIM]
Communications and Information Management
AIESEC Indore website: http://www.aiesecindore.com/
AIESEC Indore Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/AIESEC.Indore
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